Monday, May 03, 2010

It's Not the Lottery...

...but it's still pretty stinkin' cool.  I wrote last week about nominating my dad for Caregiver of the Year at our local Relay for Life, which is coming up on May 14th.  Well, a representative for the selection committee called the other night, and HE WON!   

Now, there aren't any fabulous prizes or a matter of fact, if you ask him, he'll probably say it's a punishment.  He actually has to be there and participate, which will be really hard for him (well, for all of us, but him especially).  It might be a punishment for me, too...because the committee wants me to READ the damn essay I wrote!  My initial response was laughter, because just the thought of it stressed me out .
Public speaking is NOT my thing, not by a long stretch.  I have this annoying little habit of hyperventilating and getting all stumbly over my words, and, on rare occasions in my youth, passing out.  So I laughed, and volunteered my trusty PA-announcing, radio experience hubby for the job.

But then I started thinking.  The whole point of Relay for Life is that cancer never rests.  So, we go, we walk, we stay up all night, drink way too much hot chocolate and eat to stay awake, and feel like hell for the rest of the weekend.  But it's a small price to pay.  Well, isn't asking me to read my essay a small price to pay as well?  Edna went through many things I'm sure she never thought be able to face, and she did so bravely.  This is just a question of totally embarrassing myself in front of thousands of people.  I would live through that.  (Maybe.)

Dad will also be doing something he really doesn't want to do, and really doesn't think he can do.  And that's at my doing.  Shouldn't I be able to show him even more how important I think it is by actually reading it myself?  I know it already means a lot to him, but...shouldn't I? 

So, I'm mulling it over, and sort of challenging myself to give it a shot, maybe with some backup available in case I really do go ass-over-teakettle on the stage.  And I'll practice, because right now, I can't even read it silently without crying.  I'll let you know what I decide, and if I really do go through with it, I'll post the video of me fainting off the stage.


Tam said...

My thoughts will be with you. I think that would be very hard on all of you but I think it is a beautiful thing at the same time. What a wonderful way to bring you guys together and you know she will be there with you all on that day!

alisha said...

You should absolutely read it. The whole reason that you went out on a limb and put everyone is what you are saying is an uncomfortable position is because I wanted your dad to know that you are proud of him. YOU are proud of him (as in not your husband-although I'm sure he is to). And it's ok if you're allowed to have strong feelings for your dad and the loss of Edna.

Go up there and read it and be emotional and cry your heart out and watch as everyone else does too. And afterward, everyone will be a little bit more at piece for having gotten a little bit more of their chest. There's something to be said about a good cry and there absolutely no reason for anyone to be ashamed of their emotions. Go for it!

(of course, this is just my two cents, you have to do what's best for you and your family)

Good luck!