Monday, October 11, 2010

Born on Columbus Day, a.k.a. Thirty-Nine Reasons to Hate My Birthday

So, today was Columbus Day.  It was also my birthday.  Both did nothing for me today.  So, here goes my list...

1.  I'm 39.  If I don't have another baby while I'm 39, I'll never have another baby. 

2.  If I didn't have students, I would have gotten no presents today.

3.  My husband took me literally when I say I don't want to celebrate, and he bought me a card that he and Andrew both signed.  He should read me better than that.

4.  I still have bronchitis.

5.  A student sent me flowers, but no one else did.

6.  My siblings texted me "happy birthday" messages...well, the two that remembered.  A phone call would have been nice.

7.  I spent the evening alone doing laundry and watching television.

8.  My birthday was on the weekly school calendar, so people knew about it.

9.  I am equally annoyed by people wishing me a happy birthday as I am by people ignoring it.

10.  I had Chinese take-out tonight and didn't even enjoy it.

11.  There was no cake.

12.  James got violently ill and went to bed before Andrew did.  Not his fault, but I'm still angry with him.

13.  My mother wrote me a check.  I want her to be able to know what would make me happy and buy it herself.

14.  If my mother had bought me something, I would have hated it and returned it.

15.  Edna used to buy me the best outfits for my birthday.  She was the only one who could, and now no one does.

16.  On this day last year, I was so positive that Edna was going to die that day that I rallied the troops.

17.  My birthday last year was "celebrated" around a hospital bed and my dying stepmother, who was just lucid enough at that point to know something was going on.

18.  On October 12 of last year, I received word that one of my favorite former students had been in a car wreck and was brain dead.

19.  I was born on Columbus Day.  My birthday has only been on Columbus Day six times since then.  If I count those like people born on February 29, I'm only six years old.  That's not helpful at all.

20.  Next year, I'll be 40.

21.  I'm worried about transferring my pathological hatred of birthdays to Andrew.

22.  Today was Monday.

23.  I have an all-day inservice tomorrow.

24.  Rick Springfield didn't call me to tell me "Happy birthday!"

25.  I want to be at the lake.

26.  I'm running out of reasons.

27.  I'm too old to get my tonsils taken out.

28.  I ordered eye firming cream for the fine lines and wrinkles from Mary Kay today.

29.  I am not a perky person, and when I'm not perky, people think I'm being a bitch.

30.  I think I really need an inhaler, but I don't have a doctor.

31.  Anything higher than 250, unless we're talking about money someone's giving to me.

32.  I just realized I have nothing to read before bed.

33.  My birthday wasn't on 10-10-10 or 11-11-11.  10-11-10 looks like a locker combination.

34.  82 Facebook friends commented on my birthday.  Maybe eight of them really care.

35.  I don't have lunch money for tomorrow, and will probably have to "steal" it from Andrew's money jar.

36.  James is going to be a treat to sleep with.  The guest room is sounding good.

37.  I'm craving a Coke.  A real one.

38.  It's 11:00, and I wanted to be in bed by now.

39.   I can not remember a birthday that I've enjoyed.  Ever.

3 comments:

Tobye said...

"My husband took me literally when I say I don't want to celebrate, and he bought me a card that he and Andrew both signed. He should read me better than that."

I'm sorry about that, but I have to admit I felt better when I read it. This happens EVERY year on my birthday. My husband either does nothing, or gives me the obligatory card. I, of course, go out of my way to make his day special. Every year, I end up disappointed.

Birthdays suck.

alisha said...

If it makes you feel any better, I had to work today...apparently Columbus didnt discover Alaska.

sounds like your week can only get better!!! :)

TeeTee said...

we have the same birthday, and i think that it is really awesome!

even though i am really, really late... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (: