Friday, November 21, 2008

A.K.A. Maudlin Memories

I really may have to ditch the Flashback Friday theme. It's too depressing. No matter what I do, no matter what kind of picture I choose or event I discuss, I end up sad. Maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way--my intent was to sort of chronicle these events and memories so that someday, someone (Andrew) could read through them and understand what things meant to me. Okay, okay--if I look at it that way, maybe I can stomach it. Happy memories should be happy memories, right? I should relish the fact that they happened and that I can remember them, and NOT the fact that they are days gone by.

That being said, today's fabulous selection of happiness and mirth is a relic of Thanksgivings gone by. This was Granny's last Thanksgiving, and the last one we had that really fits my idea of what Thanksgiving is. (happy thoughts, happy thoughts...) Granny had fallen and broken her hip weeks earlier, and had spent a while in a rehab./nursing home, miserable and asking to come home the whole time. We sprung her for Thanksgiving, and surprised her with the fact that we were all there. It wasn't a permanent homecoming, but it was a hopeful sign for her, I think--she ended up coming home for good just before Christmas. I know we were all thinking that it was our last Thanksgiving with her, and it was...she died the following February, at home, where she wanted to be, but we all put on the brave, happy faces and enjoyed one hell of a Thanksgiving, one last time. And I'm grateful, thankful for that day.
When I insisted we buy her house the year after she died, this day, and many others like it, was one of the main reasons. Unrealistically, I sort of expected--no, hoped that these family holidays would continue. They haven't. At least, not the way I hoped. People are scattered, doing their own things--some of the people in this picture I haven't even seen in over a year. And without some huge effort or event to get everyone together, it just doesn't happen. We have no glue to hold us together, no obligation to "be there." I want us to try to do better--I want us all to make the effort to be a family. Whether it's here that we gather or somewhere else, we should make that effort, together. And that, I'll be thankful for.

2 comments:

Sarah :) said...

Hey! What a wonderful post. Be thankful for all of the precious memories you have of her, they will fade all to quickly. All we can do is remember the wonderful woman she was.

I'm glad to be back posting, too. (:

---Sarah

Tamara said...

Sarah--when in doubt about posting, just remember that your regular readers are counting on you for a bright spot of optimism. Thanks for the continued visits and comments. :-)