Every so often, I need to give myself "wake-up calls" that remind me of what the important things are. I think I've been doing a pretty good job lately of not sweating the small stuff and not being anxious about things that don't matter in the long run. That hasn't been without help though, because I do need the reminders about how truly lucky I am, even when I feel miserable.
Last night, as I was catching up on one of the blogs I follow, I came across a link to a blog that shook me to the core. The family I was reading about was blessed with the birth of daughter last year, although she was three months premature. She suffered through countless surgeries and procedures to help her with the many health issues she faced. As I read, it only took me a few minutes to realize that their daughter had died on Monday the 11th, just a few days earlier. Yet there they were, posting positive messages about how blessed they were and what a miracle they had, even though she had just died. The pictures of the smiling parents holding their beautiful baby girl were taken in the hospital, after she died. And they were truly happy, because first, their baby wasn't suffering anymore, and because they were able told her without ventilators, feeding tubes, IVs, etc., being hooked up. And I cried, and cried, and cried.
I've said before that I'm envious of people that have such a strong faith in God and the hereafter that they can weather tragedies like this with a positive attitude. Do I think they're in pain? Absolutely--nothing could take that kind of pain away. But they are able to dilute it or frost it over with the belief that their sweet baby is in a better place, and that they will see her again someday. I don't have that belief or that faith, and not because I don't WANT to have it, but because I don't trust in it. I'm cynical, agnostic, maybe even a "heathen," but trust me, my life would be much easier if I weren't. It's not a choice I make, it's just me.
But I needed that dose of inspiration from this family, because I can't imagine anything worse than what they've endured, and yet they smile, and they are thinking not of what they have lost and the things they didn't get to experience, but of what they had in the short time she was here. And they smile!
The religious issue aside, I constantly need the reminders to be positive and appreciate what I have. To live in the moment without the fear of what comes next. To focus not on what I wish I had, but on what I do have. To try to look on the bright side of things without dwelling in the past or the negative. To try not to wait for the storm to pass, but to learn to dance in the rain. Because if this family can do it, I can.
And thanks, TeeTee, for posting the link on your awesomely awesome blog.